Religion For Dummies

 

Bless us Father...

Not for our sins

which are minimal at best

but drop blessings exclusively

on we Christian victims
who had to bravely endured
the heathen Joe Biden
and that damn Muslim

Barack Hussein Obama

who came with 

the Satanic Clintons before

Now by your benevolent grace
you have anointed Brother Trump
to save us from the Socialist horde
of dark atheists polluting

our chosen by God race

Keep our savior safe
from past sins consequence

of which there seem to be many

though many are deemed fake

by his Born Again word

For your glorious prophet

is the Shepard we need

to do all our thinking

Guiding us back to Eden

and the pure Paradise it was

before the illegals ruined it

Breaking the Law Breakers

 

The performative bastards
with their iron boot
currently crushing

Lady Justice's throat
prance about and boast
as they march

in fascist lockstep
while dismissing
the tepid legalities
of prior laws

they so brazenly piss on

We bide time patiently
waiting for our pay back chance
when the wheel of consequence
will turn and crush their arrogance

Karma always takes care 

of her little sis Miss Justice

Interpretative Subjects

 

Agenda Man
can quote chapter and verse
from the ancient document

we still utilize today

as a guiding GPS

through the muddled mess

between us and the road

to Paradise on Earth

These articles of faith
were put in place long ago
not by omniscient gods
flashing lightening bolts

down from above

They were scribed
by flawed creatures
who just like us

often stumbled in darkness

seeking the best path

in our pursuit of Happiness

So contrary
to the manipulative preachings

of rigid Agenda Man
their finely crafted words
were not
written in stone

They were constructed

of pliable material

to fit

the every shifting obstacles

we as a society

are challenged with

to navigate daily

Deadly Inertia

 

Into the doldums
we floated
unknowingly
in spite
of the obvious warning signs
that certain death awaited us

But it was not our time
so fate pushed
our arrogant asses through
to the other side
at the crucial time
though our humbled crew
knew full well
we were undeserving

Take the win

but let the lesson sink in

that Lady Luck

is an unreliable mistress

Cost Defective

 

Now that hatred
and prejudice
are the official
government blessed
coins of the realm
the us versus them
racist elements
at long last get to shred
the social safety net
they've long found offensive

In fact the very existence

of dark skinned citizens

having the audacity

to live in our country

pisses them off to no end

Now that they are in charge

they can pretend

it's all bigger better 

austerity economics
but we know that's bullshit
from these fake Christians
Jesus would surely condemn

Rest assured

the Lord above

is taking names

and keeping score

Karma the Barber

 

Throw them a towel
to soak up
those desperate alibis
surely to flow
to justify
their divulged deceits

Be sure to check in
with their stable of enablers
who will creatively
blame society
for fostering 
the exposed liar victim

Where there is no
messy consequence
there is no shame

Immorality reigns

So take no pity
on the wounded party
lying in a puddle
of cause and effect

The Hole Truth

 

Like a joke
seeking a punch line
the truth
which eludes
we finite performers
in this surreal circus
lies buried
beneath the grave reality
of our lurking mortality

Those who try to deny
our diminishing timeline
are in for a shock
when relentless time
runs out the clock
as the victorious bell
tolls mockingly
over their vanquished
soon to be gone 
unprepared carcasses

Tick Tock

Commiserating Aches

 

Everything hurts these days
as pain rides shotgun with me
probably for the balance

of this journey

I'm sure you don't wanna hear
my litany of aches
since you got your own issues
though maybe if we share
our hurtful relationship with life
it can be a soothing
mutual human distraction

Misery does indeed need company

Telescopic Truth

 

Black backdrop

Sky canvas

Specks on the spectrum
silently flickering away
from a far off galaxy

Ancient visual waves
at long last reach my eyes 

On the horizon I see
a supernova flame out flash

Someone's sun was checking out
in a fiery solar explosion

I say "was"
because the expiration date
was millions of years ago
back when our dinosaur crew

was meeting

it's inevitable extinction fate

Light sure is hyper fast
and yet
distance takes it's toll

So you see my mortal friends

Even the stars die out

As will ours someday

Everything goes 

As do we

Accept this natural reality
and cease chasing 
the very flawed concept
of ever lasting eternity

Wrecking Opinions

 

The medical technician

of much experience

said just because

the light shone through it
didn't necessarily mean

the ugly tumor wasn't malignant

I sought a second opinion
from my trusty bartender William
who watches lots of medical shows
and is a new science disciple

of the venerable RFK Jr

Dr Billy instantly prescribed
more fiber in my diet
and a shot of heroin

to level off any internal stresses

I thanked my well informed friend

for his valuable service

My philosophy

of living serenely

is to always

follow the learned advice

of high click volume influencers

well more versed

in internet based expertise

than woefully ignorant scientists

Sign off

 

On those days
where all I wanna do
is stay in bed
and not
come out to play

I force myself
to ignore
my inherent
anti social ways
and choose
to reside in this world
reluctantly

I can't hide from life

Believe me I've tried 

Mesmerized by technology

Tethered
to my
flat screen society
with all my fellow
social misfits

Island blips

Transmitting
clever quips

Our soothing
soul numbing
addiction

You can't do
SOCIAL
by yourself
so lose the MEDIA
from social media
and don't be
such an oxymoron 

America Dystopia

 

Live today on State TV
the conclave of eager zombies
will conduct a praise lavishing orgy
in another Glorious Leader slobberfest

While there may not be
one sentient being
at the mahogany round table
we will as a captive nation
get to bear witness
to the highest level of loyalty
which in our new reality
is how we now grade

performance competency

Be there when we commence
the greatest ever
ass kissing contest

for the icon who saved us

Just another prime example
of the full transparency
being conducted daily
by your see through government

Of course your full viewership

will be a mandated requirement

to prove not only

your full fledged loyalty

to the Great Man

but the full commitment

of every citizen

to the glorious grandeur

of the Thought Collective

Thank you for your attention 

Tipping Point Break

 

The tiny ant
rolls with such audacious courage

Taking on all oppressors
seeking to hold his kind down

The tiny ant pushes back
against these powerful forces
of oppression

The tiny ant challenges authority
over the concept of freedom

The tiny ant is now a martyr
for this noble cause

Squished beyond all recognition

Is the dead ant a hero or a fool?

Will his death be a spark

of revolutionary ignition

or another forgotten casualty

of history?

Probably the latter

but that did not matter

to the tiny ant

who was simply tired

of being pushed around

GOP Jesus

 

Teach your children
TRUE Christian
AMERICAN values

Buy the little brats
a Trump Bible or two

And not one
with a slanted Euro view

Charity begins

in a well fortified

well armed American home

to protect

and deliver us 

from the dark forces

of advancing evil

the Deep State propagandists

peddle as social progress

For tis written
in the Book of Exceptionalism
the poor ain't nothing more

than Satan's spawn
sent here to weaken our resolve
and plunge us into the darkness
of global homosexual socialism

Jesus digs success
and only loves winners like him 

Duly Noted

 

The half ass man
I today am
has become so disillusioned
by the sorry state
of this domain
I now choose

to only hear the highs

Blocking all discordant

non conforming tones
from voices that roll differently

to my particular sensibilities 

does provide input uniformity
but tis a fool's gold
when you decrease your range
and attempt to exist limited 
in this life monolithically

Best to respect the spectrum

that rolls with the power

of the collective harmony

even though it tends to be

perpetually off key

Because you gotta be in it

if you ever wanna influence

the symphony tune

True Ugliness

If you are offended

by my existence
and if the unsightly
appearance I carry with me
disturbs your aesthetic sensibilities
I do contend
that you are the true freak
with deformed heartless opinions

Not to mention
the sheer hypocrisy
of a creature so ugly
ever sitting in judgment
of anyone's worth or beauty

So next time you decide

to drop a mocking aside

in a lame attempt at humor

down to the level

of your equally cruel

insecure low esteem crew

beware the anvil of irony

destined to one day land

on your cackling heads

Loin Sprinkler

 

Extremely pious me
only ejaculates freely
for the express purpose

of human reproductivity

Not even tissues

will be utilized
to soak up my wasted seed
when I'm feeling horny

and lonely

Propagation of our species
being a biological necessity

We all gotta do our part

and give in to what comes naturally

If only I could find
willing fertile birthing vessels
to accommodate these throbbing needs

Ready, willing, and able am I

to do what it takes to multiply

using my egg guided

missile sperm system

as a hammer

to your receptive nail

Together we shall

regenerate the population

and rescue our race

from self generated

ignominious extinction 

Ladies?

Who wants babies?

Let me be your Johnny Appleseed

Time for you to do

your maternal duty

and assume

the procreation position

to save humanity

Misunderstanding All You See

 

Prolonged exposure

to the hard core ignorance

prevalent these contentious days

will greatly constrict depth perception

and tragically narrow your senses

So you best open those eyes

See the fallacies of hard core lies

Allow the light of knowledge

to penetrate the entrenched darkness

that feeds human ignorance

Do a little self education

Become an enlightened citizen

THIS IS THE WAY 

Bloody Musing

 

Mirror mirror
on the ceiling

Tell me
tell me
what I'm feeling

Can you sense my seething rage?

Childish over reacting you say?

I'm playing the part of drama queen?

THAT'S SO UNTRUE !!!

Do I need to pop a cap into you?

Now you mock me and say I'm bluffing!

A flat slab of frickin glass
dares question my sincerity!!!

 (BANG) (CRASH)

Mirror mirror
now shattered on the floor
and all over my bloodied body

Does self reflection
really matter
with a head now hemorrhaging profusely 
and a perspective totally splattered?

I do know this much going forward...

Self reflection can be dangerous

So no more hazardous props required
when I dare to self inquire 

Wizard Droppings

 

The Three in One
Bigger Better Man implant
created by

your benevolent corporate friends
here at TechWiz
is a major upgrade
of our flawed species
so riddled with organic defects

The bionic AI brain
can be programmed custom fit
to process your thoughts

with maximum speed and efficiency

It's titanium heart
is an unbreakable work of art
with a guaranteed
beat warranty of three centuries

You will also roll with zero fear
so the device can be utilized
as an effective tool
when courage is needed

Order now and for no extra charge

we will throw in
the latest tech development
in penile enhancement

We know your special someone

will surely appreciate this

The entire human refurbishment package
will make a great Christmas gift 
as our clever scientists

continue to accelerate

the too slow evolutionary process 

Respect the Counterattack

 

Your sword of betrayal
pierced my exposed heart
and left me a bloody mess

Forever shattering
my naive shield of innocence

You left me for dead
but bitterness
brought me back

Round One 
was dominated by you
as I slumped 
dazed and confused
against the blood stained ropes

but I knew
your offensive energy
had all been spent

Pay back time for me
with interest
was about to commence
in Round Two

A word of advice
for my soon to be vanquished
and forgotten foe

Next time you choose
to do a cheap shot
blind side attack
against a defenseless victim
put them completely away
with your first
sucker punch blow
cause as surely

as night turns to day
they will rise up
and pummel back your smug ass
with nothing to lose 

vengeful desperation

Corrode Trip

 

Hi!! Ho!!

Hi!! Ho!!

Off to Sodom Town we go
to satisfy
our bodily needs

Bring your roll of green

Pluck a poppy obscene

Find the street corner
chemistry professor man

Peddling pixie dust
smiles by the gram

Drop a nickel or dime

Not too expensive
considering the high

Ingest a victimless crime

Guaranteed flight

Pretty colors everywhere

Warm buzz ignites

Sirens blare

Flashing lights

Hospital bound

Bring it down

Another junkie to repair

Pump out the poison

Damn
the damage is extensive

This one needs a body bag

A parting souvenir
from the Killer Klowns
of Sodom Town 

Shade Dispenser

 

Before I became
the black cloud I am today
I used to care deeply
about my fellow man

Filled with a sense of empathy
and feelings of empowerment 

Naive me
actually believed that I mattered

People would listen
with great respect
for my every profound utterance

But alas 
the world was too wrapped up
in it's own cynical agenda

Made me and my noble intentions
feel foolishly irrelevant

Now I chirp satirically irreverently

A humor shield
defense mechanism
from ever being hurt again
the way open hearts always do

A bitter mockingbird
hopping around
with clipped wings
and a rotten attitude

Bumble Beastie

 

Take pity
on the Joker in Chief
and his cackling minions
whose main priority
is not governing
cause they really suck at that

Their whole pathetic existence
is now performative trolling
which long ago 
ceased being effective
when it became so overplayed
it devolved into parody
of a toothless monster
no longer scary 

Now the world laughs

and mocks the exposed loser 
which triggers

the accelerated madness
of the desperately insecure
and emotionally fragile

feckless fraud 

Off Lining

 

In my current non connectivity

static state of locked out panic 

I seek remedy for my ignorance

by interfacing with enlightened

tech gurus of the 21st Century

Scrolling through

the assistance thickets

I click on a support link

that may be my restoration ticket

to connectivity happiness

Surely one of these mystical 

modern day Brahmins

can restore my connection

to cyber civilization

After hours of futility

failing to communicate

with these mystics

due to my lack of fluency

in the new computer terminology 

off the grid me

had an epiphany

I DON'T NEED THIS

I was so much happier

in the slower paced

the primitive pre-techy era

Now I live life unplugged

off the invasive grid

Perhaps someday

you will go overload too

and come join me

for a cup of coffee

and human conversation

at that quaint cafe

down by the lake

Self Edit Directive

 

Right now
my blood alcohol level
is more booze than plasma
so I gotta confess
I am typing under the influence
so please excuse
this poetic incoherence
though cynics would say
I write better this way

While that stinging critique
is pretty damn funny
my instincts yell
my rogue post won't age well
and will probably
be deleted come morning

That's if I can manage to recall
in my self induced 
hung over fog state
that I ever wrote
such a muddled mess
in the first place

Fortunately for me

nobody reads my shit anyway

So what the Hell are you doing

literary slumming here?

Knot Out

 

I find
early morning unraveling
of the knots I crafted yesterday
extremely therapeutic and relaxing

Releasing the pressure

on my jammed up brain

has become

a mental health necessity

The slow methodical
deknotting process
is also a great way
to review and learn
from the mistakes
that we accidently did create
embedded deep
in our tangled life complications

Bitter Compost

 

When we Boomers do convene
in our non tech sanctuaries
there's a general grumpy consensus
that the younger generation
are spoiled entitled brats
who lack proper appreciation
for the ancient ways
we rose colored
geezer gazers 
rolled with
in the simpler "good old days"

It almost seems
these petulant kids
can't wait 
for our bitter 
dinosaur asses to die out

In the coming too soon tomorrow
it will be their turn
when they go gray
to one day congregate
in their damn chat rooms
(which will be as outdated as they)
and rag on the faults
of the lazy good for nothing
future Generation Whatever
about a general lack of respect
for their perpetually pissed
out dated elders

When Karma does even the score
we now content ghosts of the past
will collectively be laughing our asses off 

Rainbow Hunters

 

Call me simplistic

Label me naive
but I've finally
realized
after all these years
of soul crushing disappointments
the key 
to happiness
is to NOT rush the process

Joy cannot be forced

Just live

Just love

Let life settle
and fall into 

it's natural place
at it's own pace
and stop
forever chasing
the antiquated concept
of fairy tale 
happily ever after endings

That frog you perpetually kiss

will never transform

into a perfect prince

but there exists out there

a perfectly suitable mate

to settle down with

if you let it 

Life is a one step at a time journey

Classified Jollies

 

Our inside joke

was so private

no one else in this dour joint

got the jolly point

or saw the humor

only we shared...

Strange looks

and rolled eyes

was their reflex reaction

of collective group ignorance...

Not that we cared

that our warped brand of comedy

was mutually laughter inclusive...

Together we have journeyed

far beyond the staid propriety

that unfortunately

defines the current grim reality...

Butt seriously..

Poking and pushing back

at the forces of oblivious absurdity

keeps this all too often

very scary ride semi-interesting

A must for any shared

successful long term relationship

with a fellow traveler

For you see...

Love surely is done

when you lose the smiles

that attracted you way back when

and you both forget how to have fun