Never Get Off the Boat

 

So here I was
thinking I was well grounded
when a lightning bolt
tossed down by a bored Lord
struck my exposed

oblivious ass
with a high flash
voltage shock

to all systems

God Damn that was uncalled for
though I do now possess
a healthy respect
for the massive power 
of unexpected randomness

NEVER GET OFF THE BOAT

as I choose to invoke

my best obscure

Apocalypse Now reference 😜

Medal Heads

 

You too
can be
a hero of
heroic deeds

Doer of brave 
and noble things

Not as hard
as it may seem

Courage is not only
running into a fire
to save a stranger

Courage is 
staring down
the demons
of your past
and
conquering them

Or at least

restraining these beasts

Doing your duty
for your family

It takes guts
to be
a responsible adult

The Starving Idealist

 

My latest relationship conundrum

An angel with soiled wings

My love is a serial sinner

with zero remorse

So very generous of body

which many

a satisfied male

(and female too)

will tell you

ain't too shoddy

 
She is a disciple

of the new religion
where her morality
is self serve
and I am just a dessert
on her lustful buffet

My appetites are more restrained

This relationship 

delicious as it may be

is simply indigestible

It's lonely being a judgmental

overly picky consumer
in an all you can eat world

Erosion Dripping

 

drip...drip ...drip...

Serenades my current
compromised existence

So damn constant

Steadily monotonous

A relentless cadence
mocks me
with its dripping content

Never ever deviating
from the gravity beat

drip..drip..drip.. 

A tragic case of medicinal insanity

It's not the last chapter
that terrifies me anymore

It's the apathy

The chronic emptiness
suffocating my diseased soul

Smothering hope
with relentless efficiency

Recreational
chemical vacation trips
once my sanctuary
now have ironically flipped
in this hospital prison

Time has eroded
those walls too
as mocking reality closes in

No miracles today

In the end
death will be the only way
I thankfully exit
this drab torture facility

drip..drip..drip...

PLEASE TURN IT OFF!!!

ode to blandness

 

the truth of this moment

my snippet of time

is that i treasure current contentment
over gaudy tangible accomplishments
that would only serve
to muddle
my glorious mundane existence

no testimonials for me

praise ain't really necessary

still breathing is my trophy

for i am who i now am

the blip i was born to be

a placeholder at the table of humanity

an unabashed unapologetic mediocrity

i am

a happily boring man

Scandal Junkies

 

Feel the throbbing
from the stimulating 
hormonal magnetism
down to the molecular level
of these two coworkers
desperately trying
to keep their relationship professional

and body language muted

Say a prayer
for their dangling monogamy
endangered daily 
by the seductions

of office space proximity

as they work round the clock

to make the hard deadline

that many jaded pilgrims

of a cynical

gossiping bent

choose to believe

has already happened

Perceived whispered sin

being more damaging

than hard to fathom 

boring just friends reality

Ode to Wing Men

 

The Lothario I ride shotgun with
attracts the women
with his sheer animal magnetism

Possessed with the power
of masculine gravity
he lures in the females of the species
drawn to his seductions willingly

I am the star's satellite wing man

The plain "Nice Guy" alternative

Mr Personality

The humorous antidote
to their pain of mating rejection

Gladly taking in
those she meteors
who fall from his orbit

The lucky consolation prize am I

My girls are equally as fortunate
even if they don't know it yet

Comfortably Snug

 

At this point in time

it's way too late for me to be
anything other than I am

This truth affords me the luxury
of no longer having to give a damn
about living up to expectations
I never really embraced
in the first place

Once these illusions have been spent
it's time to finally

go about
existing comfortably content

Slow it down

Pour a glass of wine

Find that perfect sunset

ignored previously
and settle in for the duration
of this soon to be finished trip

Painting Perceptions

 

All the world
now an electronic stage
where we click out
our personal slanted narratives
for public consumption

Posting heavily edited
rose colored selfie productions
we can rarely duplicate
outside the flat screen 
in our unregulated reality

All pain and unflattering truths
dumped in the perception trash bin

If only real life was so easy

If only happiness could be sorted
like our precious apps

Don't fall into the envy trap

Always take the cover story
at its face value

Decide for yourself
how much you view is true
and try as best you can
to filter out the fluff

Terms of Surrender

 

When I began to skim through
the tragedies of the day
over my morning coffee
and high fiber corn flakes

When I conveniently commenced
to compartmentalize and relegate
the daily fire storms of humanity
to the spam folder of my soul

When I found myself fleeing
directly to the sports section
for all the scores
of meaningless competitions
performed by sweaty
millionaire gladiators
in tax payer funded stadiums

It was then
my heart ceased to beat
and cynical capitulation
to the zombie apocalypse
was complete

Wither Peter Pan

 

Once upon a time

deep in the haze of

playground memories

Children once were we

Joyous and care free

An innocent breed

frolicking in a bubble existence

Play time rolled joyously

Free from the chains

of adult responsibility

Then we left behind childish things

Corruption got to us inevitably

Teen age stains accumulated

Raging hormones

Innocence evaporated

Leading us into temptation

Compromising situations

So many options

Splintered choices

Trust shattered

Egos bruised

Cynical walls constructed

Hardened shells

We become 

what we fought

during our rebel phase

In order to survive

we rationalized

and compartmentalized

So it goes

So it goes

Life has a way

of stripping away

our halos

Still Standing

 

I have been devalued and diminished

Knocked down repeatedly

by the forces of Ignorance

Taunting my bloodied ass
on my worthless insignificance

All these self esteem death missiles
launched daily in my direction

And yet here I am
still standing defiantly

Not giving a damn
what those bastards think of me

Patiently awaiting
the opening for my counterattack

This is when persistence pays off 
as I revel in the laments
of my shocked enemies

The Case for Relations

 

Proposition:

Perhaps I could sleep with you
while your loveliness lays with me?

Prior to our mutual slumber
maybe we could engage
in some joint sexual thunder?

For your consideration
when we awaken
from post carnal hibernation
we can jump start our day
with some tender fornication

Morning after sex is the best

As consenting adults
we possess the power  
to write this stimulating feel good story

No romance impediments required

No love strings attached
to suppress innate passions

Not even necessarily 

a happily ever after

We can suspend that fairy tale 

For tonight

just a good time physical interaction
we both desperately require

to release these suppressed tensions

A respite
from this grinding
human condition

If we can somehow
lose these obsolete inhibitions
and for once heed
our bodily needs

Satisfaction guaranteed

(At least for me) 😜

Sponge Man

 

Some men
get women
all hot and bothered

Some men
make women swoon
and get all weak
in the knees

All a matter 

of attraction biology

Pheromone magnetism

I used to look at those 
fortunate masculine specimens
with massive male envy 

Cause a she heat generating missile
I shall never ever be

The bad cards I was dealt genetically

So I had to pump up my personality

Now I grudgingly accept

the visually compromised man that I am

A soothing female balm

I calm girls down
when they are pissed

Turn their frowns

into grateful smiles

A human sounding board

Absorbing their hurts

My blessing

My frickin friend zone curse 

National Bowel Movement

 

See the smug face
of the contemptuous man
and his foam at the mouth sychophants

Spreading hate and prejudice

as only the ignorant can

This is the dominant species?

You could have fooled me

The Master Race?

The greatest culture?

These prancing embarrassments?

This mistake of history
and the pretentious crew
are chattering monkeys
jumping with glee
on those rare occasions
when the shit
they throw at the wall
actually sticks

Gonna take buckets of disinfectant

and a whole lot of elbow grease

to remove these stain remnants

from our national consciousness

The sooner we can commence

to cleanse our souls of this stench

the better it will be

to restore our democracy

Fill in the Blanks

 

Deep in the jungle remote
a wild orchid grows free

Its petals spread in delicate glory
with the pure beauty of a magenta hue

A sweet scent sent down from heaven
completes this ideal creation

The only flaw is its location

For this flower will never be seen

Its stunning perfection
never glorified

  
Too far off the beaten path

Just no way this spot can be reached

The flower lives out its life
alone and unappreciated

Is it real? Does it even exist?

How do we believe 
miracles we can't possibly see?

Why must we be
so empirically stubborn!

Always demanding proof intellectually

when all we need do is trust our hearts

The most natural

secure depository for beauty

Belief brings the flower to life

Faith sustains the memory

If you don’t believe in anything
then all you have is nothing

Fool's Porn

 

In this high tech age
it's become impossible to gauge
or reliably appraise
if our visual stimuli
is real or AI

Is this sexy girl image
I wanna jerk off to today
alive or computer generated?

Guess it does not matter

if my dream lover

was digitally created

or a real tactile ideal

Neither one of these angels

would ever

sexually engage with lonely me

At the end of the day

my flimsy love life

is but a sticky tissue

fantasy anyway

Exit Ramp

 

After their nightly war

of hurtful words
she yields the field
for a much needed retreat

from the domestic carnage

Using the bathroom as a refuge
she tries to hold it together

as she slams the door

now locked closed

The years have taken their toll
as the tears begin to roll

from her swollen eyes

She runs the faucet

to drown out the sound

of heaving sobs

that serve as a dirge

for her relationship surrender

Surrender as in an ending

Closing the book on a tragedy

This strategic capitulation

will yield a degree

of much needed closure

that is the first step

toward recovery

Meal Fit For a Scavenger

 

Here at the Carrion Cafe
we always serve up the best
roadside cuisine

Our exquisite menu is never set
cause here at the Carrion

if the meat ain't freshly scraped 
off the highway that day
it won't land on your plate

From our tart

squished squirrel hors d'oeuvres
to our delicious raccoon fricassee 
your palate satisfaction is guaranteed

Located right off Highway 73

we are now open for breakfast

serving up scrumptious

possum pancakes

with a side of mystery

sausage potpourri

Twenty percent off discount

if you supply your own roadkill

for us to prepare as you like it

So come on down to the CC

Bring the family

for a wholesome

affordable feast

We even do parties

Context Matters

 

Mighty Algorithm
of a censorship bent

I humbly beseech ye..

Is this pic in any way

sexually suggestive?

Your label says it is

A boob on the battlefield?

A wardrobe malfunction
during the French Revolution?

It's a frickin political statement!!

Even art illiterate me

knows it's a famous painting

It's Lady Liberté

It's NOT pornography!!

Please adjust your smut parameters

Though on closer inspection

with the naked eye
she is a babe
with a glorious rack 😍

MAGNIFQUE !! 

"Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité !!!

What Goes Around

 

There is something in the atmosphere

The stench of discontent

A shroud of uneasiness

smothering a disgruntled populace

who have become conditioned

through algorithm repetition

by the cynical indifference

of this jaded age

When faith is abandoned

it becomes a tragic magnet

for bad events to happen

So don't be bitching about fate

when your circumstances

don't turn out great

It's KARMA and you know it

Shotgun Passengers

 

Lecture me not
about my insignificance
in the Grand Scheme

I know I am but a flea
on the ass of a stampeding elephant

that I sure as Hell ain't steering

(though I like to pretend to)

Actually it's not a bad view

Plenty of space up here for you

and the rest of humanity

for this all too short trip

Cause in the end my friend
we are all equally irrelevant

For we share the same mortal
dust to dust fate

Time breaks us down

to our core elements

Eroding all pretensions of glory

"You can't take it with you"

may be the greatest cliche

Carpe Diem

Seize the Day

Let's fixate

on the moments we have left
and stop chasing fleeting status

The Show Rolls On

 

Fans of the Anti Christ

pushing the collective narrative

that their aging star

is really the victim 

of a coordinated smear campaign

They flip the script

to make reality the villain

in this soon to be closing

immorality show

that once was a huge hit

Now nothing more

than a tired one act play

performing to empty seats

Sunk by the glorious truth

that hatred and prejudice

is impossible to sustain

Though sadly

the demand remains

for this toxic product

to reopen again

under new ownership

The Business of War

 

Only the names change
as history plays
on perpetual loop

Like a classic movie

Worn but still relevant

The formula
for modern war:

CREATE DEMAND

Terror groups well financed
sprout like weeds

Infecting our fun house internet
by calling us bad names
and trolling their God in our face
like we did to them in the Crusades

Wreaking havoc
with our pals
the human rights
challenged sheiks
who feed us
our fossil fuel fix

We are afraid !!

The heathens are at our gates!!

Danger lurks
behind every oil well!!

When influenced
and manipulated
properly
the masses fearfully
line up
and pound the drums
for war

Politicians on the take
and media lackeys
quickly fall into formation

PROVIDE SUPPLY

War is never cheap
in our capitalist 
military industrialist 
complex economy

Luckily
we've got plenty 
of companies who windfall profit
from Homeland Insecurity

Taxpayers got deep pockets
when it comes
to not getting
our boys decapitated
by masked fiends

Pom pom politicians
macho talk
and stop fighting
with each other
to unite
in a flag waving orgy
to preserve our way of life
by killing
the latest reviled bad guys

And away we go

The money flows

No ideology 
to defeat
like the Cold War

Gotta rally the nation

One more time...

CA CHING!!

A steady flow

of death income
for the rest of the century
to the crafters of instability

These war profiteers
who behind the scenes
have pulled the strings
throughout human history

All they need is a boogie man

A simple embodiment of evil
the media can fixate on

Saddam

Bin Laden

Isis

Any Muslim will do

Cartoon villains
straight out
of central casting

Create demand

Provide supply

Manufacture them both

Corner the market

The war merchants 
soak up the blood money
from the comfort
and safety
of their palatial gated estates

The beat goes on

Only the casualty names change