Damnable Doubts

 

Forever in my line of sight

The immaculate dream

bathed in soft sunlight

She has and will always be

my unattainable angel

Shrouded in mystery

I question my lucky eyes

partaking of this wishful vision

All I know of her

is a silhouette I see

when the sunlight deems

to share her glorious form with me

Every curve is magnified

by the luscious shadow 

the goddess casts

A celebration in my eyes

My imagination

vividly colors her whole

between the lines

of the romance novel

where I craft us together

happily ever after

Filling in the blanks

as I strain to escape

the picture frame

that is our anti fantasy

too damn rational prison

where angels are forbidden

to reside in our gray reality

Bio Disposable

 When tomorrow becomes today

all our dreams officially
get summarily
and permanently
taken away

by a long gray convoy

of dented dump trucks

Dropped in a boggy marsh
on the outskirts
of our soon to be Ghost Town
with all the other Disposables
from our throw away society

Only God's Chosen Ones get recycled

Performance Issues

 

Some days

Like today

I just can't get into character

Bogged down by persistent doubt
that my act has grown lazy
and the world now knows
just how Fugazi I truly am

The judgmental chorus
is so totally clueless
how hard it is
to change acts
for an insecure fraud my age

Prayer For Affirmation

 

When I read
the daily litany
of human calamities
from the safety
of my secure bunker
I lay on thick
my best social media empathy shtick

"Prayers for this" 🙏🙏

"Hearts for that" 💓💓 

Emoji sympathies

Ain't I long distance compassionate?

Group hugging these unfortunate strangers

Like all the other poser
posting hypocrite saints
in this sick voyeur domain
who deep down are relieved
"Thankfully it's them not me
dealing with this tragedy"

So we fish for mass kudos
to feed our starving self esteem
in this dark sea of misery
that passes for Humanity

Captain Dunsel

 

Here in Automation Heaven
the production line rolls 24/7

Robots perform all labor manually

AI has now assumed all thought processes

Today we creators of said devices
have all become
so functionally obsolete
we now do this existence
without purpose

Without thought

Totally unnecessary

In many respects
we are now the mindless machines
like the early models we conceived
to relieve our lazy asses
from what we perceived to be
the mundane burdens 
of our formerly hands on lives
we now wax nostalgic about

Humanity has been set free
by the miracles of Technology

But as tragically
is too often the case
our headstrong species did not 
fully think things through

Now we collectively
sit on our fat asses
with nothing to do

Sans the distractions
of the active tasks
that once defined us
we now reside
in thought silos online
in a mass bitchfest of hate
fueled by the Automation prison
we did ironically create
to make life easier

Smeared Love

 

On a canvas buried
deep in my attic repository
are shavings of charcoal
arranged perfectly
to portray the heavenly visage
of my long gone former love

I recall that day

so many years ago

walking hand in hand

in the park

with this angel

I believed was sent to Earth

especially for me

After some coaxing

she agreed to sit for a portrait

from a gruffly street vendor

who perfectly 

captured her pure beauty

in less than five minutes

A picture lasts a lifetime

even if hers was tragically

a mercurial comet

that graced my path

Taken too soon

The framed memory

for years hung

in my bachelor pad

It was all I had of her

When my now wife moved in

I knew it had to come down

Carefully boxed up and stored away

Hidden the masterpiece must remain
cause my current love
would be very pissed
at this harmless
pictured memory

that once meant so much to me

Such nonsense

to feel threatened by a ghost

Jealousy is a such a pointless insecurity

Greatest Show On Earth

 

Polish those stars

Dust off the old generals

These crusty military
relics from the past

Prop them up in front of the map
of our latest glorious war event

We'll get back to the bleak economy,
wealthy men raping children,
and other corruptions next week
but now we gotta hear experts speak
about our cool high tech weaponry
and how we gotta make
(fill in the blank)
safe for democracy
after we first
take some dusty armaments
off the shelf
and bomb the shit
out of their oppressed populace

Our generous
hand picked contractors
are eagerly standing by
because after the carnage is done
comes the real fun
of rebuilding the wreckage
our smart bombs did create

It's a win/win for everyone
on the profitable carousel
of War Really Ain't Hell

It's just good business

Shaded Love

 

Teen age memories:

The Girl Next Door
from across the way

High school prom queen

Every boy's sticky dream

Nightly peep show

Forever in my adjacent window

Her shades slit open strategically
allowing peering me a free look see

Eight track blasting the Bee Gees

Her tight body gyrating sensually

I know she feels my burning eyes
ravaging her naughty innocence

Music subsides

Lights go dim

My fantasy lays in her bed

Could she be dreaming of me?

Her admiring voyeur
who come morn
she will surely ignore 
but
not tonight
as I turn out the lights
hop into my little bed
and reach for my supply
of jizz absorption tissues

Fade to Black

 

Are the lights dimming

or is it just me?

Is this last call

or just diminished electricity?

Ever get the feeling
you have overstayed
your welcome?

I have this suspicion

about my dwindling life

As the host fidgets

while peeking at his watch

Have I become

the overbearing

oblivious guest

who would not leave?

For sure

I am pretty much done here

and the world seems to be

equally finished with me

Maybe it's time
to stop hanging around
just for the sake
of stretching

this continued existence

Take some solace

in the length of the trip

Find comfort

in every experience

Turn the last page

Close the book

Fade to black...

Stealth Maintenance

  

All my dirty little secrets
stacked way up high
in the insecure

suppressed vault
deep inside
my memory repository 
need to be
taken out
inspected
and rigorously
sponge cleaned occasionally
lest they fester
and ever spill out
accidentally

No need

creating any more messy
additional real life
rancid scented complications

than necessary

Preventative power scrubbing

is damage control applied

pre surprise disclosure 

Fangs of the Joker

 

The shady cartoon characters

are quite content
to perform out of sequence

from the shadows of obscurity

Sharing adventures
through espionage secrets
now exposed globally
as they cut the cord
on all past guardrails
of internal security
now deemed obsolete
and out of fashion
by well meant

advocates of free speech content

What the less enlightened

choose to dismiss

as light weight

harmless fluff entertainment

is in reality 

all a brilliant comic front

for our destined

coming soon

implosion destruction

A Twisted and Tangled Man

 

As the years roll by

acceleration is inevitable

as we descend the funnel

into the mortality's abyss

It also comes to pass

that people and things

we once experienced

drop off along the way

Some get replaced

Others reimagined

But erosion naturally happens

Way back in the previous century
my personal tactile therapy
was patiently
untangling my knotted
spiral phone cord

I always found this to be

a much needed mindless task

perfect for off loading

accumulated stress

Alas

maximized phone stretch
never seemed to last
as the forces of Twisted
quickly returned to limit
my connectivity reach

Tis the little

mind numbing trinkets like this

we so dearly miss

as I pop another Valium to forget

another casualty of progress

Rolling Desperate

 

I danced with Chance

on a table of stained felt

bought and paid for

by crashed dreams

Post wreckage
I hooked up with Epiphany

for a level setting session

(at least temporarily) 

Too late to save
my bank account

now depleted

The House had its way

with yet another hapless victim

skewered and defeated

The dice last night
which did not roll my way
were as loaded as me

There's a reason
the drinks are free

A Loser's Lament
wondering where
the money all went
as I plot
how and when
I can get back
to the no win game

Karma the Barber

 

The Betrayer of Trust
is an unflappable liar
devoid of any sense

of human repentance

Worse yet
they are habitually

perpetually incompetent

Busted at every turn

Throw them a towel
to soak up
those desperate alibis
surely to flow
to justify
their recently
divulged deceits

Be sure to check in
with their stable of enablers
who will creatively
blame society
for fostering 
the exposed liar victim

For where there is no attached
messy consequence
there is no shame

Immorality reigns

So take no pity
on the wounded party
lying in a bloody puddle
of cause and effect

Wag the Scapegoat

 

DAMN IT !!!

Forgot to take out the trash

Lost track of the days

Time mismanagement

an increasingly bad habit

of this life in retirement

My lovely wife of course

jumped at the chance

to take her old boy to task

for my erroneous ways

But much like our president
I tap danced

the dodge responsibility path
and blamed my senior moment gaffe
on fellow dinosaur Joe Biden

What my desperate deflection

lacked in rational credibility

it more than made up for

in current events

connective creativity

Though my pissed Mrs did not think so

Head Trippimg

 

Your desperation
is your own.........

As is mine........

Meticulously crafted
and cultivated 
from our core insecurities
we plucked from the vine
of a life misapplied...

Anxieties uniquely conceived
to custom fit our psychotic needs.....

Bring all your personalities
in for cranial adjustments
and we'll get you properly medicated
for the duration
of this long strange trip...//...>> 

True Independence

 

Ambivalence
is the New Politics

Not giving a shit
is the ultimate ambition
of we outside the lines Nihilists

It's the purest lifestyle path

More and more heading inevitable

For group cynicism is protective

A collective sanity prophylactic  

Breaking down happiness
to its core joyful elements

sans outside distractions

of far beyond our control

political and economic interactions

In Summation

 

Doing the invariable retrospective
on my waning lifespan
I comb through memories
seeking clarity

and soothing perspective
on the eternal questions

"Was it all worth it?"

Did my existence have any meaning?

Did my trek leave behind an impression?

Will my accomplishments

offset my mistakes

when I get graded for admission

(hopefully on a curve)

to that place called Heaven

I never really believed in

God I am so tired of this

unrelenting emptiness

"Fuck It" was my conclusion

As it so often is

Or was

I closed my heavy eyes

Rolled over
and commenced to die

Quietly

Alone

Just like always

Best Perceptions

 

I really could be interesting
with the proper framing
and well placed soft lighting

Of course
I will need a crack writing staff
to fluff and pump up
my quite mundane
real life back story

Topped off with a vigorous
personality makeover
to package me as desirable
with optimal product placement

All it takes

these cosmetic days

is a little perception boost

to spackle in my reality cracks

Skid Rowing

 

Those of minimal
financial means
always seem
to get crammed
into matchbox ghettos
on the harsh side of town

Tis all about control

Choking off all hope

and any dreams of prosperity

the inhabitants may aspire to

Using the cycle of poverty
as an economic hammer
to keep the oppressed residents

of Depression Town
perpetually down

Woe This Politico

 

People who knew me when

Some may have even been friends

Their consensus is:

I'm no fun anymore

My once light wit

today obsessed with politics

One of those zealot bores
pissing into the wind

from my high horse

teetering on a warped soap box

Blind to my hypocrisy

now that I have joined the lunacy

of the legions who bloviate

about our decaying democracy

Fixating on what I once mocked
and called out as bullshit

Now I'm every bit as pointless

as the hyperbolic

pearl clutching grannies

Now in direct

violation of the axiom
of crapping where I eat

Consider this the requiem

of an iconoclast

who no longer exists

Absorption happens😢

Drone On

 

We celebrated a great victory
over our hated enemy
fully by remote weaponry

The arrogant bully

sure got his comeuppance

from his former victim

Our spines arched in triumph
from patting ourselves on the back
for today we are the cutting edge
of death technology

The former military giant

taken apart by video game carnage

that they now know is painfully real

David slays Goliath
with a drone joystick

War will never be the same

Slava Ukraine

Release Program

 

My young incel friend Hank
took a ride on the Taboo Express

A trip taken many times by you and me

How and when he got off is a mystery
cause these things ain't discussed in polite society

He bumped into a blind man peddling batteries
who recently was granted his self release

"Did riding the Express cost you your sight!”
Hank cried, “Should I call the Morality Police?”

The blind man raised his calloused hand
and with a toothless grin proclaimed,

“Loving yourself should never be a crime
so let go of self induced guilt and shame”

The Hankster took those words to heart

Now he rides freely with a clear head

Never let hypocrites jerk you around
or make you feel ashamed 
about the very human need
to offload celibate tensions

The Book of Illusions

 

Turned on 

my reliable 

coping device
to sidestep this life
yet again

Drawn to dream slopes

Peaks capped in soft snow

Mirrored reflections

in the bluest lake

God ever did create 

Not ashamed to confess
this homage to serenity
is entirely

one hundred percent

an alcohol induced
illusion sanctuary

of repressed imagination

the cheap libations did liberate

You can't put a price tag

on this kind of needed freedom

Though many

of a puritanical bent

will deposit their two cents in

to launch me on a guilt trip

for abuse of spirits

The whole ancient

sin damnation rap

I long ago moved past

The Lord is way more tolerant

of the flaws in his creation

At least that's my convenient

semi pious interpretation

So leave your judgements
and shameless hypocrisy
in my packed Denial Lobby

and I'll say three Hail Mary's

as half ass penance

for my immortal soul

and your lame attempt

at heathen reclamation

Necessary Editing

 

To err is human

All part

of our flawed species

fuck up tradition

Blunders do happen

Though it's never a shrewd move
to arrogantly choose

doubling down
on mistakes you may have made

Don't compound the miscue  

Best to take the L

Absorb the hit

Deal with consequence
which bad as it may seem

won't be as shit
as staying on the current
ragged off the cliff destination

Post course correction

rip off that band aid
and air out the wound

Let the hardened scab breathe

Commence the healing process

And by all means..

LEARN FROM THE PAST !!!

Fly Through

 

Butterfly... Butterfly

Flower hopping jewels

My Summer time envy

Now only a memory

Buried in today's
barren landscape
where our garden 
used to be

We are all born to die

Destined to be
devoured by ravenous time

Stored in decaying memory

Butterfly... Butterfly

Did you ever realize
the seeping fragility
of this life?

Me neither

Dumb creatures are we

Living obliviously

So quickly it goes

Now it's too late

Too many missed opportunities

Now Death commences to strangle me

Making my last days agony

Damn these fucking regrets

Fuck these damn butterflies

Oblivious to their beauty

Now lying buried beneath
the frozen snow

Tech Waste Product

 

Gotta pay the price
if you choose to ride
over the watery impediment
that used to divide the populace
in ancient times

Our vehicle device

gets magically scanned

as our bank account

gets deducted

by the ever rising fee

to bridge this obstacle

of impassable fluidity

Meanwhile

the perpetually pissed troll

of limited intellect

and minimum

employment prospects
who formerly toiled
in a collection capacity
is now a bitter casualty

in the growing legions
of tech replacement obsolescence

Today he's just another asshole
spewing know it all venom 24/7
on the intellectual cesspool

that is the internet

social media outlet

formerly and forever

known as Twitter

Free Styling

 

Stick to the plan...

Stick to the plan...

The future demands
I stick to the blueprint
that Life did plan

School
Job
Wife
House
Kids
Retirement

Factors unforeseen
along the way
have stretched
my weary body
in all directions

As my life
continues to stray
from the script
it's becoming
much harder
to stay in character

Time for me
to finally
throw away
my best laid plans
and improvise
with Plan Z 

Rotten Karma

 

You voted for the clown

who has slowly drowned
all long held traditions

of national compassion 
in the slow cooker
of myopic fiscal restraint
to drown all charitable
Christian values

you pretend to represent

And in our complacency

we let you do it

which makes us just as guilty

of this death by collective stupidity

We just did not take

the jester threat seriously

Now that the safety net
has been severed
and the poor worse off than ever
our luck is in the toilet

We can't seem to catch a break

Losing now represents

the new normal

The beat goes on

Dark clouds have descended

Respect for us gone and ended

We are the object

of global pity and scorn

All this pain we share today

and the anguish yet to be

is Karma's wrath being served

History will record

America's fall was well deserved

with a collapse self inflicted

Truly a mega shit sandwich

Uplifting Spirits

 

They rolled out the red carpet
for the ghosts fixed in the mist
of faded remembrance

These souls entwined in silence
deserve their solar moment
beneath the spotlight of praise

to soak up some well deserved glory
for all those thankless days
they toiled in the fields
of gray anonymity

Without these

steady baseline types 

populating the median

who would we ever measure

those of heroic deeds against?