Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Sponge Man

 

Some men
get women
all hot and bothered


Some men
make women swoon

and get all weak
in the knees

All a matter 

of attraction biology

Pheromone magnetism

I used to look at those 
fortunate masculine specimens
with massive male envy 

Cause a she heat generating missile
I shall never ever be

The bad cards I was dealt genetically

So I had to pump up my personality


Now I grudgingly accept
the visually compromised man that I am

A soothing female balm

I calm girls down

when they are pissed

Turn their frowns
into grateful smiles

A human sounding board

Absorbing their hurts

My blessing


My frickin friend zone curse 



Monday, July 13, 2026

National Bowel Movement

 

See the smug face
of the contemptuous man
and his foam at the mouth sychophants

Spreading hate and prejudice
as only the ignorant can

This is the dominant species?

You could have fooled me

The Master Race?

The greatest culture?

These prancing embarrassments?

This mistake of history
and the pretentious crew
are chattering monkeys
jumping with glee
on those rare occasions
when the shit
they throw at the wall
actually sticks

Gonna take buckets of disinfectant
and a whole lot of elbow grease
to remove these stain remnants
from our national consciousness

The sooner we can commence
to cleanse our souls of this stench
the better it will be
to restore our democracy





Fill in the Blanks

 

Deep in the jungle remote
a wild orchid grows free

Its petals spread in delicate glory
with the pure beauty of a magenta hue

A sweet scent sent down from heaven
completes this ideal creation

The only flaw is its location

For this flower will never be seen

Its stunning perfection
never glorified
  
Too far off the beaten path

Just no way this spot can be reached

The flower lives out its life
alone and unappreciated

Is it real? Does it even exist?

How do we believe 
miracles we can't possibly see?

Why must we be
so empirically stubborn!

Always demanding proof intellectually
when all we need do is trust our hearts

The most natural
secure depository for beauty

Belief brings the flower to life

Faith sustains the memory

If you don’t believe in anything
then all you have is nothing



Sunday, July 12, 2026

Fool's Porn

 

In this high tech age
it's become impossible to gauge
or reliably appraise
if our visual stimuli
is real or AI

Is this sexy girl image
I wanna jerk off to today
alive or computer generated?

Guess it does not matter
if my dream lover
was digitally created
or a real tactile ideal

Neither one of these angels
would ever
sexually engage with lonely me

At the end of the day
my flimsy love life
is but a sticky tissue
fantasy anyway




Saturday, July 11, 2026

Exit Ramp

 

After their nightly war
of hurtful words
she yields the field
for a much needed retreat
from the domestic carnage

Using the bathroom as a refuge
she tries to hold it together
as she slams the door
now locked closed

The years have taken their toll
as the tears begin to roll
from her swollen eyes

She runs the faucet
to drown out the sound
of heaving sobs
that serve as a dirge
for her relationship surrender

Surrender as in an ending

Closing the book on a tragedy

This strategic capitulation
will yield a degree
of much needed closure
that is the first step
toward recovery



Wednesday, July 8, 2026

Meal Fit For a Scavenger

 

Here at the Carrion Cafe
we always serve up the best
roadside cuisine

Our exquisite menu is never set
cause here at the Carrion
if the meat ain't freshly scraped 
off the highway that day
it won't land on your plate

From our tart
squished squirrel hors d'oeuvres
to our delicious raccoon fricassee 
your palate satisfaction is guaranteed

Located right off Highway 73
we are now open for breakfast
serving up scrumptious
possum pancakes
with a side of mystery
sausage potpourri

Twenty percent off discount
if you supply your own roadkill
for us to prepare as you like it

So come on down to the CC

Bring the family
for a wholesome
affordable feast

We even do parties






Tuesday, July 7, 2026

Context Matters

 


Mighty Algorithm
of a censorship bent

I humbly beseech ye..

Is this pic in any way
sexually suggestive?

Your label says it is

A boob on the battlefield?

A wardrobe malfunction
during the French Revolution?

It's a frickin political statement!!

Even art illiterate me
knows it's a famous painting

It's Lady Liberté

It's NOT pornography!!

Please adjust your smut parameters

Though on closer inspection
with the naked eye
she is a babe
with a glorious rack 😍

MAGNIFQUE !! 

"Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité !!!




Monday, July 6, 2026

What Goes Around

 

There is something in the atmosphere

The stench of discontent

A shroud of uneasiness
smothering a disgruntled populace
who have become conditioned
through algorithm repetition
by the cynical indifference
of this jaded age

When faith is abandoned
it becomes a tragic magnet
for bad events to happen

So don't be bitching about fate
when your circumstances
don't turn out great

It's KARMA and you know it



Shotgun Passengers

 

Lecture me not
about my insignificance
in the Grand Scheme

I know I am but a flea
on the ass of a stampeding elephant
that I sure as Hell ain't steering
(though I like to pretend to)

Actually it's not a bad view

Plenty of space up here for you
and the rest of humanity
for this all too short trip

Cause in the end my friend
we are all equally irrelevant

For we share the same mortal
dust to dust fate

Time breaks us down
to our core elements

Eroding all pretensions of glory

"You can't take it with you"
may be the greatest cliche

Carpe Diem

Seize the Day


Let's fixate
on the moments we have left
and stop chasing fleeting status





Sunday, July 5, 2026

The Show Rolls On

 

Fans of the Anti Christ
pushing the collective narrative
that their aging star
is really the victim 
of a coordinated smear campaign

They flip the script
to make reality the villain
in this soon to be closing
immorality show
that once was a huge hit

Now nothing more
than a tired one act play
performing to empty seats

Sunk by the glorious truth
that hatred and prejudice
is impossible to sustain

Though sadly
the demand remains
for this toxic product
to reopen again
under new ownership



Saturday, July 4, 2026

The Business of War

 

Only the names change
as history plays
on perpetual loop

Like a classic movie

Worn but still relevant

The formula
for modern war:

CREATE DEMAND

Terror groups well financed
sprout like weeds

Infecting our fun house internet
by calling us bad names
and trolling their God in our face
like we did to them in the Crusades

Wreaking havoc
with our pals
the human rights
challenged sheiks
who feed us
our fossil fuel fix

We are afraid !!

The heathens are at our gates!!

Danger lurks
behind every oil well!!

When influenced
and manipulated
properly
the masses fearfully
line up
and pound the drums
for war

Politicians on the take
and media lackeys
quickly fall into formation

PROVIDE SUPPLY

War is never cheap
in our capitalist 
military industrialist 
complex economy

Luckily
we've got plenty 
of companies who windfall profit
from Homeland Insecurity

Taxpayers got deep pockets
when it comes
to not getting
our boys decapitated
by masked fiends

Pom pom politicians
macho talk
and stop fighting
with each other
to unite
in a flag waving orgy
to preserve our way of life
by killing
the latest reviled bad guys

And away we go

The money flows

No ideology 
to defeat
like the Cold War

Gotta rally the nation

One more time...

CA CHING!!

A steady flow
of death income
for the rest of the century
to the crafters of instability

These war profiteers
who behind the scenes
have pulled the strings
throughout human history

All they need is a boogie man

A simple embodiment of evil
the media can fixate on

Saddam

Bin Laden

Isis

Any Muslim will do

Cartoon villains
straight out
of central casting

Create demand

Provide supply

Manufacture them both

Corner the market

The war merchants 
soak up the blood money
from the comfort
and safety
of their palatial gated estates

The beat goes on

Only the casualty names change





Friday, July 3, 2026

Yesterday Man

 

I am haunted by dissolution

Cursed by erosion

Today a latent sentimentalist

An out of the closet traditionalist

My once rapier
cutting edge
has been dulled
by time

Tis the natural
regression of age
as I tumble into
the tranquil pool
of reflection
over all things nostalgic

To dwell in the past
instead of residing
in these sad
elderly daze
where dreams
get buried
by the crushing weight
of adult reality

So here I am

Harvesting memories

Thumbing through
a dusty scrapbook
today made obsolete
by modern technology

Kodak relics I relate to

Reminiscing late at night
with that damn clock on the wall

My only remaining friend
is a relentless enemy
who stares down impassively
with unwavering efficiency

Grains from the hour glass
from above impassively fall

On a mission
to bury us all

Carpe Diem
or bring a shovel



Thursday, July 2, 2026

Pocket Predator

 


Gotta check my phone

Gotta stay connected

Don't wanna miss that text

The world at my fingertips

Modern communications
swiping time and space

The trade off unforeseen 

Privacy lost

Contemplation stolen

There is just no way
we get to relax today
now that we are tethered
to our mobile devices 24/7

Leisure freedom is a goner
when we can no longer
truly get away from it all

Turn it off or mute that ring

You ain't gonna miss anything




Wednesday, July 1, 2026

Weed Removal

 

All the slimy whine seeds
have been planted deep
and fertilized with bullshit

Come next election cycle 
the latest toxic crop of weeds
will push through the cracks
and once again threaten
our garden democracy
and grounded traditions of fair play

Another discordant symphony
of alternate reality conspiracy
will seek to choke off
the rights of all citizens
which threatens to repudiate
the narrow warped vision
their hatred culture did create

We of the good people
silent majority
from all sides politically
need to finally agree
that we as a society
gotta remove permanently
these noxious weeds
of the obnoxious minority
by their thick
dick headed roots
so that next time around
our crop will not be ruined
with all their performative
sore loser posturing crap
that regrettably will remain
as a permanent stain
on the canvas of American history

Hopefully
this disastrous chapter
will be a humbling
learning lesson
for all humanity
that mass involvement
in the voting process
is the best deterrent
to polluted leadership



Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Manure Cycle

 

Laugh all you want
at the daily absurdities
that passes for news

We lurch from crisis to crisis
of questionable relevance
and while we mock
their lack of importance
our focus gets diverted
from the real corruptions
buried deep beneath
the fake news mountain of shit

The Art of Manure Deflection





Well Done

 

FUCK IT
is my new mantra

This condition
of disorderly transition
from fully enraged
to protective apathy
needs to first pass
through grudging acceptance

I must learn to step back
to identify futility
and then disengage

There will be no mental health relief
unless I start NOT giving a shit
about these many issues of which
I have zero control
and hold no relevance
to need to be fret free me 

Life's too frickin short you see
for this battered warrior
now barricaded 
and insulated completely
from the annoying forces
of pointless activism






Monday, June 29, 2026

Venn Settlement

 

The Great Mediator

The much needed voice of reason

Such the skillful negotiator

Deftly navigates
the many settlement impediments
by keeping his head
amongst the screaming inhabitants
of Contention Island

Blessed be this peacemaker





Sunday, June 28, 2026

Off Ramping

 

Incompetence

We got it

Like a ball and chains

Hard to explain

How it perpetuates

Now normalized

Wrong is right

Institutionalized

Shadows now dominate

All is compromised

Turn out the lights

Now it makes sense 



Saturday, June 27, 2026

Spun Dry

 

Today all the rationalizations
and daily alibis they create
have toppled the tipping point
of already strained credibility

Now that logic
has been obliterated
any and all pretensions
of rational adult debate
have been made moot
by their worship
of the absurd pronouncements
that drop from their clown king

When you blindly
follow the lead
of a demented pied piper
your off the cliff destination
is a fait accompli

Our current desperate mission
is to cling to the guard rails
and not allow the mad man
with his cult of scary minions
to take the remnants of our nation
down the abyss with them 



Death By Reality

 

Those who wanna believe
will always find a way
to cram any narrative
no matter how ludicrous
into their ever receptive heads

This is essential
for comprehensive cult absorption
be it political or religious

Death by piercing truth
they could not bend
or creatively manipulate
will be the Collective's
ultimate epithet in the end





Friday, June 26, 2026

Dwelling Orwellian

 

To get desired consensus
opinions need to be harvested
and clumped in tight batches

Weeding out all prickly dissent
which stray from the mean
is left to the creative devices
of the unleashed Thought Police

Once we have achieved
Oneness of Belief 
the People will be relieved
of the pounding headaches
from the delusion
that was freedom of choice

Only when this burden is lifted
will the conditioned masses be truly free
to be productive citizens
of our perfect
Utopian
Homogeneous State



 



Thursday, June 25, 2026

Brush Wash

 

The artist I possibly could be
finally found a canvas pristine

I could be anything potentially
once doubt gets scrubbed away

Now all I need
is a paint brush clean
since the tools I have
are hopelessly
outdated and compromised
by the tyranny of time

Nothing comes easy
when the past is so stained
and inspiration wanes
like my diminishing days
til the rent goes past due

Then I must settle up
with my impatient landlord
staring back from the mirror
eager to padlock
my unfinished dreams 





Wednesday, June 24, 2026

Bored as Hell

 

Satan gets bored

Just like the rest of us

Puttering around
on a Sunday morn

Entertainment options limited

Obviously church is not an option

Underworld wifi reception non existent

The heat is Hellish and the AC busted

His room mates are all dicks

Evil gets old real quick

The same old atrocious bullshit

Life down there sure is a bitch

Just like it is up here

Only hotter and way more eternal

(sigh)

Oh well..

What's for lunch?



Tuesday, June 23, 2026

Saint Us

 

Most saints
were sinners once

Just like us

Tap dancing
up and down
on the slippery steps
of morality

Flawed creatures
all splattered with a variety
of wrong way violations

Yet they found the resolve
to overcome their core imperfections
and get their shit together
prior to mortal disintegration
to become the moral icons
and shiny medallions
we celebrate today

Granted redemption
ain't as easy today
with the wide spectrum
of creative temptations

But seriously
why the Hell can’t we
shed and offload some layers
of accumulated sin
and find salvation
like those marble saints of yore?