After my number
was proclaimed
I went to the counter
to claim my prize
The clerk with laser eyes
took me in the back
to have my unregistered ass
time stamped
While waiting to be processed
two burly zombie employees
rudely threw me
on a conveyor belt
At the end of my trip
a disinterested
former prom queen
slapped a sticky barcode
on my forehead
and product placed me
eye level high
on a freshly wiped shelf
Dazed and confused
I complained
to the leprechaun manager
who was not amused
that a valued customer
was so thoroughly abused
He dropped me in a cart
and rolled me over
to customer relations
where a gum smacking teen
gave me a key chain
and a coupon
I was told not to lose
As I wandered
the dimly lit
parking field
looking for my car
I had the chance
to reflect
on the sins
of the dying
brick and mortar
retail establishment
and wondered
where I should shop
online next time
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