Saturday, May 18, 2019

Paradise Reboot


On the 50th anniversary
of the post apple munch apocalypse

Senior citizens Adam and Eve
took the bus cross town
and returned to Eden
to revisit the infamous tree
that was the root cause
of their cast out
of paradise demise

Sidestepping
the hot dog wrappers
and discarded site maps
that littered the trail
to this popular tourist trap
they paid the snake in the grass
(I think it was an asp)
tour guide the admission fee
to see what was once
a semi pious tree 

After reciting
chapter and verse
from the book of Genesis
the sly reptile hissed
that the curse could be lifted
if the original sinners
chopped down the damn source
of their banishment

Adam now filled with the spirit of redemption
picked up a golden chain saw
that the snake just so happened
to have in his Gucci satchel
and proceeded to rapidly  
take down the offending growth
and make firewood
as best he could
while Eve busily
gathered up rolling apples
to bake one of her heavenly pies

The moment that tree
hit the ground with a thud
the snake instigator
slithered away
laughing hysterically
about the continued gullibility 
of man

The sky opened up immediately
as the immortal landlord peered down
and screamed
"DAMN ME !!!
What the Hell
have you fools done now?"

Security angels 
were quickly dispatched
to roughly escort 
the disoriented pair
out of paradise yet again

The now down tree
reduced to a pile of splinters
could not possibly be repaired

The Lord our God was so disgusted
he stormed away
to devote his attention
full time to other 
more cooperative
parts of the galaxy

Transferred ownership of the site
formerly known as Paradise
to a local tribe
who crassly bulldozed 
the whole God forsaken freak show
and turned it into a glitzy casino

Ironically
Adam and Eve
now take the bus there
once a month
along with the other
gambler pilgrims
to worship the God of Avarice
who actually pays out occasionally




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