Bueller..Bueller

 

All those loose truths you do
with minimum respect
for the sanctity
of tethered reality

as you dance with narratives
that never come with attached

adverse fact checks..

All the scrapes

with exasperated authority

who despite their best

Wile E. Coyote persistence

can never tag you with consequence..

No one can touch you..
Ferris Bueller..

Who grew up to be
the 45th president of our country
and may well do an encore..

The brat we hate and envy

with equal intensity..

The likes of this character

never seen before

and unlikely

to ever come our way again

The Opiate of Numbers

We masters of future events
have moved on from primitive

crystal ball tech..

Instead we harvest targeted data

to confidently project tomorrow

based on our very best

quantitative sample analysis..

Modern prophets of a philosophical bent

rely heavily on these black and white stats

to such a skewed over reliant extent

they oft overlook statistical anomalies

tucked away in the mystical margin of error..

Ignore not the ancient sage of prophesy
warning us to beware the beast of improbability

slight as the long shot odds

that the catastrophe may seem to be..

We need to always respect the possibility
that our best laid statistical projections
are no match for the power of destiny..

That most overlooked shock variable
throughout human history

Weed Removal

 

All the slimy whine seeds
have been planted deep
and fertilized with bullshit..

Come next election cycle 
the latest toxic crop of weeds
will once again threaten
our garden democracy

and grounded traditions of fair play..

Another sore losers symphony
of alternate reality conspiracy

will seek to choke off

the will of the people

which repudiates

the narrow warped vision

their hatred culture did create..

We good people

from all sides politically

need to finally agree

that we as a society
gotta remove permanently

these noxious weeds

of the obnoxious minority

by their thick headed roots

so that next time around

our crop will not be polluted

by all their performative

sore loser posturing crap

that has stained recent history

Out of Conversation

 

The rambunctious man
of limited filtration
and minimum intellect
never disappoints
when asked his opinions
that always skew

consistently unhinged..

Critics will predictably

jump on the maniac
for his irrational rants
tinged with careless language
but you know deep down
this deplorable clown
will be secretly missed
by these very same critics..

For this force of darkness

who thrives on conflict

has long been the focal

talking point topic

for these purveyors of views

that while rationally conceived

always lack the entertainment value

of Public Nuisance Number One..

What will these chattering pundits

have to communally fret about

when their go to monster is gone?

Joy Hopping

 

I am finally content
to simply be who I am..

Took me years to understand
there is no long term plan..

No tightly crafted narrative..

Only these fleeting moments

that make this trip tolerable..

Connected specks of sand
in the vast desert of eternity
where we well meaning inhabitants
spend our allocated time 
seeking out snippets of happiness

Mr Sickness

 

A pox on these damn coughing spasms !

Lungs expelling moss green sludge
that have populated

and multiplied unabated
from the dark depths
of my bronchial tubes
since the 80's..

I shall spit out the offensive sputum
like I do everything else in my congested
sickening fungal excuse of a life..

This chronic incurable condition

will one day be the death of me..

As with us all just a question of when

In Defense of Loneliness

 

Here on the periphery
silence is my primary currency..

This view from the edge
is always crystal clear..

From my perch on the side
I see and hear
all the chaos within..

The bickering discordant symphony
that passes for relations these days..

Here on the periphery
feel free to pity me

and label my solitude

as the epitome of being lonely..

But in the grand scheme
I am far more happy

than imprisoned you will ever be

Light Pretzel

 

Gazing though
the cracked prism
of intolerance
yields a distorted vision
which blurs the distinction
between fact and fiction.. 

Once the truth gets refracted
it mutates into modern propaganda
for mass transmission
to those desperate for an alternate reality..

These disciples of the corrupted light

thrive in the shadows of minimal sight

free from the contradictions

of rational thought

Battle Bot Men

 

The contentious man

of an ornery bent

revels in his daily battles..

Pointless as they may be

these circular arguments

are the ultimate nowhere trip..

Self generated

and eternally perpetuated

this vile hatred

of those who oppose his views

is returned with equal fervor..

A peaceful solution

these friction junkies

will never find

for they are of a like

tightly bolted closed mind

Nut Soup

 

Twas decreed
by reliable shrink authorities 

that extremely warped me
is definitely
manic depressive..
obsessiveness compulsive..
psychotically repressive..
anti socially self destructive
with just a pinch of OCD..

and a few other quaint acronyms

I fail to recall

cause I don't focus too well

(must be my attention deficit thing)

Of course this made distraught

having so many things wrong with me

that I felt a smothering sense of inadequacy

so my self esteem was destroyed
and I became unhinged at the very thought

that quite possibly I was a misfit toy

adrift in a sea of social uncertainty..

This feeling was compounded

by the diagnosis

that my dire mental condition

was so hopeless

and beyond modern medications

that the best remedy for my ailments

would to become a psychiatrist myself

Today I am a world renowned head doctor

dispensing the best bar tender type advice

and mood altering elixir cocktails

to the Loony Tune populace

Divine Watchmaker

 Time is just a place

on the continuum of space..

A fluid eternal concept
that flows endlessly
through the deep ravine
carved out by many yesterdays..

Stacked with infinite precision
by the Master Creator..

No doubt to me that God exists
for all this coincidence shit 
can't be conveniently attributed

to massive random circumstance..

Though you can keep your prayers

and man made hosanna theologies

passed down through the centuries

as a means of mob thought control

by hypocrites in long robes..

I'll keep my faith very simple

and worship

this great watchmaker concept

of an intelligent universal design

Bully Comeuppance

 

The long awaited purge
foretold by obvious prophesy
was in reality
more of a messed up flush..

Not a very well planned extinction
executed by these over eager fools
of dubious distinction
and even less delicate subtlety..

When comes the judgement

of cold hearted history
these heavy handed butchers

we all fear today
will not fare very well...

These ghosts will be brutalized..

Dark memories of their cruelties

categorized by scholars of misery

and filed away with the mistakes

of our too oft repeated inhumanity  

Man It Down

 

Holster those hormones!!

Too much time spent
in the masculine tense
can lead to conflict
as we boys constantly engage
in pointless pissing contests
to territorial declare

our tenuous dominance..

As we selfish swine ignore

the long suffering girls

rolling their collective eyes..

Trapped in their Mommy roles

wiping the noses of we sniveling brats..

Consigned to mop up

our every egotistical mess..

Perhaps the time has arrived

to let the wenches take the keys

and finally get to drive

the broken down 

testosterone fueled bus

The Blue Screen Crew

 

Drop those fears and open wide..

Pay the freak who rolls with one eye..

Time to set those inhibitions aside

and let Destiny take us for a ride..

Keep to the left.. Stay to the right..

Always respect the contradictions..

It's getting harder to tell
where the theme park ends
and real life begins..

Or is it the other way around?

Not gonna fret dangling definitions..

It's just another pointless self argument.. 

For we cartoon characters

desperately trying to be relevant

Glory Be to Cardio

 

80 heart beats per minute..

That's 4,800 thumps per hour..

And the number keeps multiplying
as days turn to years
one truth is perfectly clear..

This fabulous device
which powers our lives
while a marvel
of steady efficiency
can feel very empty
if it remains unfulfilled..

If fate and good fortune

smile in your direction

you'll meet a special

once in a lifetime angel

to share your heart with

for the rest of this trip..

Exactly like I did

when you walked into my life

and saved me

by agreeing to be my wife..

So many heartbeats ago 

Making It Up As We Go

 

In this culture where I reside
women paint their faces
before venturing outside...

A variety of products are applied
to produce the desired
reality dampening effect...

I just can't ever fathom
this archaic custom...

Why do ladies feel they need hide
self perceived human imperfections
they deem require makeup protection??

While we disheveled men
always get a visual pass
for our casual naturalness?

Must be yet another example
of gender unfairness

seeping through the cracks

that can't be spackled over

by cosmetic distractions

Widow Been There

 

The grieving widow
adorned in her best

black death threads
let's out a soft sigh
over the mangled body

of her latest hubby who just died...

Now I know some whisper foul play
for this is the eighth man she's planted
but once again little Miss Sadness

has an airtight alibi
for on the night in question
she was with the next ill fated guy
destined to someday be her ninth 

tragic coincidence accident

Lazy Brains

 

Hey Mr Know It All..

Rambling on with your charts

and exhaustive BORING studies..

Spare us your expertise
wrapped around
overly informed opinions.. 

We ain't impressed
with your years of experience
and all the degrees
on top of the accolades
afforded heavily lauded 

knowledge gods..

The only authority we recognize
are experts of the internet variety

that have spent minutes of study

from fellow social media authorities

who while short on factual back up

are long on posting volume repetition..

These venerated influencers

are the modern day town criers

teaching us useful village idiots what to think

Joy Tripping

 

I GOT IT!!!

The elusive path to happiness
is by way of acceptance of the fact
that it's NOT our final location

tucked away in a mystical destination
forever just beyond the horizon..

Elation is found

in your current situation
within the here and now
wherever that may be..

It's all in the trip bitches..

The means not only justify the ends..

Our self crafted route defines them..

Selective Vision

 

Selective morality

so in vogue 

with us rambunctious 

foam at the mouth zealots

weighs heavily on the soul..

This modern affliction

causes my neck

these contentious days
to be perpetually in pain
from always
looking the other way

from the high volume sins

of our very flawed leadership..

Handicapping me to such an extent

I have to shift my body
to see the train of reality
speeding down the tracks
to squash gullible me
and the moral judgement I lack..

When you read my brief obituary
the blurb that sums me up will say..

Death by lame rationalizations

Blessed Be the Woke

 

Hi Ho..Hi Ho..

It's off to Woke we go..

Gonna care about unfortunates..

Give comfort to people labeled deviants..

Won't demonize those persecuted

for living life different..

Gonna laugh off the righteous wrath
of MAGA based Christian hypocrites
because everyone knows
with us bleeding heart wokesters

Jesus has always rolled 

Album Busters

 

After we exit
this Earthly stage
all vestiges of our existence
will be stored in the clouds
with posted pic images
laid out sequentially
dutifully loading the history
of our above ground timeline
to remote servers everywhere
til an inevitable full memory dump
does a massive deletion of our past lives
in a frickin millisecond..

Just another humbling reminder
that storage space is way more precious

than disposable flesh and blood us

Free To Be Freaky

So bored am I

with my grind of a life

I hop into a pharma cab

to whisk me away

from this gray state of monotony..

A zombie cabby

of questionable morality

takes me on a surreal trip

and drops my soon to be sore ass

deep into the murky mist

of party down Apocalypse..

The evening is replete
with sinners and fake saints
casually intermingling

in a steamy cauldron
beneath neon illumination

bathing our congregation crew

in a soothing bluish hue..

When the moon finally retreats
our hypocrisy is complete
as all pretenses

of stifling normality

we wore previously

spill out onto the street

along with us denizens

of liberating debauchery 

Those of us weary participants

who are still upright

hug and do a numbers exchange

so that we may keep in touch

with new found freaky friends

who like us have to assimilate again

into a repressed society

none of we mutants understand

Fertilizer Spreaders

 

We of the gullible block
bought the latest
propaganda line
for pennies on the dollar..

After full absorption
of our daily allocated portion
we sit at our keyboards
to mass regurgitate the bullshit
we communally were fed..

The enemies of we vessels

defame us as useful idiots

with that condescending tone

that drove us over to the toxic side

where they at least

have the decency to pretend

they respect

perpetually pissed off us

Ostrich Flock

 

Contrary to popular opinion
I am still convinced
there is no better defense
against the many impediments
to our pursuit of happiness
than reality inhibiting

blissful ignorance..

Beneath this umbrella of darkness
we can contently live out

this out of sight out of mind existence

free of the guilt and fears

that inhibits

the joys of social obliviousness

Kidding Around

 

You do realize
it's OK to be happy?

You are more than worthy
and certainly deserving
for you have paid your dues
to the Blue Room of Melancholy..

So loosen your hesitations..

Drop those binding reservations..

Unleash that dormant smile..

Release the joyous inner child
too long imprisoned
by mundane adult responsibilities

Hate Connection

 

Just because I hate A
does not mean necessarily
that I love B...

I am quite capable of despising
both sides of this decrepit coin..

The enemy of my enemy
can never be my friend
cause I like to compartmentalize
my hatred and avoid
conflict complications 

Book Club

 

Blessed be to we

sinners and would be saints

struggling daily

to somehow make the best

of our less than ideal situations..

Far more questions

than answers abound

in this disjointed maze

where the way out

is rarely found..

Those of us seeking
divine revelation
find inspiration
from contemplation
found in ancient compilations
of dusty scrolls
scribed long ago...

Are we semi pious pilgrims

praying up the wrong tree?

God only knows

Mr Hybrid

 

I am a mutt..

A hybrid mix
of sincerity and bullshit..

An acquired taste
of bitter sweetness..

See me as I truly am..

A son of a bitch dog man..

Just another member 

of the freak show troupe

Limping our way through

this jagged uneven course

of rocky human relationships..

Saddled with the myriad

of maddening contradictions
none of us are destined

to ever understand

Hate the Haters

 

In the end
it all goes down like this..

Since it was
back in the beginning
when cavemen conceived
this tribal bullshit..

Fast forward to today..

The lines are drawn in concrete
as the wall divides
us and them..

Repubs against Dems..

Black versus white..

Gays and straights..

Those not like us
we ain't never gonna trust..

These differences we fear

easily manipulated into hate..

Go read our sorry history..

The virus of prejudice

coursing through our veins..

Tales of violent ignorance

spinning on a bloody loop

century after century..

Hatred compounded..

So how to defeat

an undefeated adversary?

Best to start with respect

as the first step

toward human reclamation