Test Pattern

 

The trick
to aceing this test 
of an existence
is the realization
there are no wrong answers
cause this poorly crafted exam
is so damn flawed
from start to end

Just like muddled us
perpetually mired down
with too many open ended questions
and multiple variations
of correctness
that probably
can only be graded properly
on a steep curve

Then again
in the end
after we put
our number two pencils down 
it may be best
we score this whole subjective event
as a Pass/Fail crawl

and move on
to avoid the unnecessary
messy comparison confrontations
that competitive
judgmental labels
tend to ignite

Mr Second Banana

 

The kooky joker used to be

married a joketress way funnier than me

Today I play the non glam support partner

Setting up my star's humor shots on a tee

as she dazzles the world with pure comedy lunacy

Exasperated reaction shots now define my role

like the good nonplussed straight man I am

Not a bad gig if you must know

cause I no longer gotta carry the show alone

Don't Feed the Freak

 

Tripped over a thought
that lingered too long
reposed along my rocky path

Scraped my knees
on a jagged concept
poorly defined
and consistently unreliable

Such are the hazards
scattered in darkness
along this nerve racking trip
to the far side of oblivion

I've been at this so long

pounding my dented head

against this indifferent wall

spectators to my stubbornness

have slowly come around

and granted me acceptance

that being part of the scenery allows

Now I am widely perceived

as a well compensated

highly regarded variant

A fool well respected

for steadfast persistence

but forever bloodied

and unloved

by a cautionary society

that finds my mutant existence

curiously repulsive

Since I was assigned

by the authorities

as the last of my kind

I would eventually be strapped

to an antiseptic table

for the purpose

of species dissection

Understanding

mutants like me

has always led

to scientific enlightenment

but damn is it painful

to we the freakish vanguard

of evolutionary advancement

Nature Wins

 

We woke to snow

and heaved a collective groan

as the season once dormant

rose from its slumber

to rudely remind us cocky

Earthly occupants

who truly was in charge

Now we lie buried

deep beneath

a shroud of oppressive whiteness

with only our new found humility

to keep us company

The Spring thaw

can't come soon enough

though then come the floods

we never seem to be

properly prepared for 

Snowy Delirium

 

This narrow crevice I created

post monster storm
with my strained labor
made a righteous path
to get from here to there
til the unforgiving wind
from out of the North blew in
and totally buried 

my hard fought creation
beneath a deep drift 
from the very same remnants
I had previously endeavored

to burrow through

Now I must commence again

to do battle with the mocking elements

that were unimpressed

by the time and labor spent

plowing through

the previous natural disaster

Such is the struggle season

of our endless frozen discontent

Flip the Formula

 

Heed my positivity

my cynical

happily ever after friends

Love at first sight

ain't a myth

For this was not

just another
madcap hookup romp
between a ditsy blonde
and me her quirky beau

We find the key
to our relationship longevity
is to not take love too seriously

Don't over analyze the chemistry
or calculate the kinetic equation
to pigeonhole define 

our oddball connection

that defies standard romance conventions

Did You Hear About...

  

Step right up
my fellow oddball misfits
to the social media trough

Confess post 
your litany of juicy sins
and personal misfortune
for text backs
of follower sympathy
from faceless friends
who secretly revel and gossip
behind your back
about your human failings
with that smug superiority
that pollutes the airwaves
of the online sewing circle

Those sharp boot heels you feel
poking you in the neck
are from this chorus
of the downtrodden
using your grim published situation
to uplift them
from their depression

Burn Baby Burn

 

The child with matches
is fascinated
and seduced by the flame
that they created
with the flick of the wrist

Clueless are they
about dangerous consequence
attached to combustibility
if the power they wield

ain't used safely

Say hello

my soon to be scorched friends
to the pyrotechnic

flame thrower diplomacy
of the 21st Century

we have unleashed

on a horrified world

by our Juvenile King

who fiddles from his bunker

while counting up profits

Beware the recoil

of flammable

regime change politics

Kill Baby Kill

 

The Squire of Mar-a-Lago
has royally decreed
that the Cheney Doctrine
of war for profit
is ready to proceed
just like the good old days
when any bullshit 
fishy rationalization
could get wrapped in the flag
and retro mass sold
to the gullible populace
as the new corporate patriotism

Video replays

of us blowing up

the latest boogeyman enemy

sure makes for great TV

as high ratings are guaranteed

while the arm chair generals

lecture the fired up populace

from in front of colorful maps

and regale us with tales

of great military history

It always starts 

as a grand adventure at least

til the novelty wears off

and we start tallying up the cost

that far exceeds the benefits

of yet another oil drenched mess

Headless Snake Brigade

 

Packed tightly in trench deep

soldiers gather round the two way

waiting for marching orders

which may never come

Since mission parameters
were never clearly defined
the warriors struggle to find
a winning battle strategy

They know who is the enemy
and where to find their adversary
but without proper guidance
or offensive cohesion
all they can do
is make threatening noises

and try to bluff their way through

Conceptual Living

 

The cranial blender  
of a few well placed
electrical discharges
in our underutilized brains
is where inspiration
dances unrestrained
with conceptual abstraction

Creations of virgin purity
immaculately unstained
by the dream busting doubt bombs
to be launched by external scrutiny

This suppressed blueprint
is the spiral staircase path 
to natural advancement

If only we could reside
in this secure womb
of abstract excellence

Trust is the power of genius possibility

Instead we gotta endure
these stained implementations
that perpetually leave us wanting

Forever seeking
the next future
untarnished surge of creativity

Spoonful of Artificial Sweetener

 

We do things we should not do
but we do them anyway
under the guise
of it needed to be done

It's these little self deceptions
cloaked in cliched rationalizations
that make our human indiscretions
go down a little easier

This self serving brew

allows us the smoke screen

to delude ourselves

that we are decent people